When a new baby comes into the family you want everybody to be excited about it including your children. This may be difficult to do when your present child is used to be the center of attention. Older siblings rarely transition easily from an incoming new sibling. As a parent you are probably aware that you need to spend quality one-on-one time to foster a positive relationship. But to take an interest and delight in your older child, as well as your new baby, is the single best way you could prevent sibling rivalry to take place. Here are a few ways to nurture a positive relationship between your kids:
- Whenever you can, snuggle up with both your infant and your older child. The gesture indicates that the love you have for your children transfers to one another. If you can get them to laugh together this will help them bond. Every negative relationship needs six positive interactions. Laughter and physical contact to stimulate bonding hormones like oxytocin and reduce stress hormones, so every time you get the kids to laugh together or snuggle together your strengthening their bond.
- Talk about how each child is feeling in front of the other. Research shows that when parents discuss the baby’s feelings and needs, preschoolers interact more positively with their siblings, even a year later. By taking the name of your child by their given name humanizes him or her in front of your other children.
- Bring the baby into the big kid’s world. If your baby plays on the floor allow your child to share the space and time with your baby’s siblings. Whenever possible sit with your children on the floor with them so your older children also feel like they are part of the time spent with baby. Treat them as a collective unit of kids so they can feel like they are part of the family.
- Allow your older child to share in baby’s responsibilities. As you tend to your child, invite involvement by your older child to help being part of taking responsibilities of the new addition. This way you honor your child’s contributions. Kids also like being in charge, give your older child the responsibility of being in charge of entertainment during diaper changes or baths. They will take it seriously if you do.
- Stay calm and redirect the behavior. Sure, sometimes the older child will not be contributing or harming the baby i.e. singing too loud or playing way to forcefully. Take a deep breath and redirect your child’s behavior. Give your older child other options instead, so that the focus is off the annoying behavior. You can also suggest that your older child practice on her doll or teddy bear . You could also encourage your child to amuse the baby, instead. Maybe, like telling jokes to baby so that involvement and connection is maintained.
- Do not belittle the baby to build up the child. Sometimes parents will make disparaging remarks about the baby to make the older child feel better. Modeling such behavior may get your child to start mimicing such behavior with others. Remember, each child is different and wonderful in their own way. Get into the habit of appreciating each child for who they are without comparison.
- Create to work an atmosphere of appreciation. You are helping your child to develop a habit of appreciating others and people close to them. This is crucial! To avoid this creates feelings of resentment and hatred towards you and members of your family that can build up over time. If done properly interaction with family members could be fruitful and enjoyable for everyone.
- Take a time out. Make sure you give time to yourself. Taking care of children after coming straight back from having a baby can take a toll on you mentally and physically. Adjusting to new schedules and eliminating others can take effort. You are human and need periods of relaxation to be able to regroup and get acquainted with changes in your life with the addition of the new one. Following these steps can result in a happy and healthy home for you, baby and siblings!!
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/siblings/great-sibling-relationship-from-the-start