When raising my children I always hoped that they, as adults, would acquire the ability to make good judgements in their lives with or without their parents being there. Many adults get crippled with the responsibility of trying to make the right decisions and instead make destructive choices. Making good decisions is not innate it is an ability that is learnt through making bad decisions and reflection.
The goal is that children need to make decisions and be able to look back and reflect on them. In addition to this, children need to feel good about the decisions they themselves make. They need to feel absolute in their resolve for problems. There is research that suggests that kids that have been treated less kindly get used to feeling bad and therefore in the future, make decisions that make them feel negative. There are some ways that can enable your child to make good judgements:
- Allow your child to practice making choices before she chooses to take any more steps or before talking. This way your child will never be able to have any problems making decisions.
- Make sure he or she understands what they can make decisions about . This needs more to be exercised with youngsters rather than older children for example, younger children can make a decision about certain clothes they would like to wear rather then making a decision about going to school.
- Share the process of reflection with your child. Work through the decision making process with your child and when it becomes more age appropriate give them more control over their decisions.
- Expect that your child will make some bad choices. This is part of the learning process. Your child is still learning and will make mistakes, but this step is essential to making different choices and eventually making the right ones in the future.
Through practice and reflection your child will develop skills needed to make the right decisions to steer his or her life in the right direction.
Adapted from http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/character/judgment